I AM THE 1 AND ONLY…………DISCO


There was loads of football on Friday, not just Bolton and Forest but the N.I and Welsh leagues like to hold fixtures, and it appears that game of the day came from Portadown as they succumbed to a 4-3 home defeat to Coleraine.

Saturday

I am just about to leave for work and I look at the fixtures, Spurs playing at home to West Brom, and I notice that the 2 teams at bottom of table after both suffering 5-0 losses are facing each other. QPR and Norwich this will be a close encounter, probably a goalless draw lol.

Sitting at work, and I have a funny turn, not induced by alcohol, work actually rush me too hospital via 999 and I am in abit of a mood as I was watching the Swansea West Ham game at it was 2-0 Swans when I was rushed in.

I miss al the football but there is a porter there (Arsenal fan) who is updating with the score and nearly cries when he tells me RVP scores for United, I cant help but laugh at him.

So sitting in A and E bay 1 and the nurse brings me a sandwich and the hottest tea ever and as I drink it the porter shows up and glumly tells me “Assou Ekotto just scored 1-0 Spurs” Tea in hand I give a little cheer and this makes 2 nurses rushing over asking if I am having chest pains, I laugh and nod no as I had just bitten into the sandwich.

“The doctor wants an x-ray we taking you there now” I get from another porter; I greet him with a huge smile of absolute boredom. My x-Ray is completed and he returns to with a really glum look I ask if he is okay, “You the Spurs fan” “yeah” I reply “ ha ha ha haaaa ha ha ha I’m West Brom and Morrison just scored an equaliser 93 minute in your face” “Is this how you treat heart patients” I retort “Oh sorry the other one said you were okay to talk about football” “I am you dumbass ha ha ha ha your face” We both laughing at each other and re-enter A and E with everyone looking at us as the laughter was really loud.

Your okay to go home Mr Gol…Disco (don’t wanna ruin the illusion ha ha ha) I look at the clock to see if there is any football on, I then remember the laughing fit I had when he said West Brom equalised……damn I had actually missed all the football.

I get home 19.57 and I turn on the TV to see what time MOTD is on. But I also catch up on the league fixtures and their results……Torquay United won 4-2 againstRochdale. WOOOOOOOOO

As always full of fixtures, to suit all fans, except for the postponed matches. The Scottish cup entered its 2nd round, without a league side in sight. Turriff United beating Burntisland 6-1 in the biggest win of the day in that particular competition.

AFC Wimbledon conceded 11 in their last 2 away matches 6-2 and 5-1 defeats toBurtonandBradfordsee’s them as possible relegation fodder.

Quiz time for you….Which 3 league teams are the only 3 to consist of all 5 vowels within their name.

Answer to last weeks question of Which keeper played over 300 times never conceded 5 in a single game……Edwin Van Der Sar…..Well Done if you knew that I was stumped.

Sunday

GardenVillage lost 1-0 against Aberbargoed Buds so no adding to the scorers but Craig Spring did win their own star man.

Arsenal are playing Stoke as we speak it is currently goalless. I am loving it at the moment as a few of my friends who are Arsenal fans are now claiming that they wont finish top ten lol, the reason they say this because it actually finished goalless.

I was screaming profanities at the monitor just now as I read that Rangers drew against Berwick Rangers. But what disappointed me was the fact that Ally McCoist claims the result as embarrassing for the club, what they fail to realise is most teams in that division are probably expecting a spanking, and so they will up their game against Rangers. I also believe that though they will be promoted with a canter they need to get their heads out of the proverbial ass and actually respect their opposition.

Well anyway well done to Berwick Rangers for a very well deserved point against the newly formed but 50 time league champions???? Rangers Newco. If they can’t beat the worst English team how are they gonna fair against championship sides?

3 Matches in a row Man city have found themselves 2-1 down but on those 3 occasions have yet to lose…….Could the Zillionaires at the Etihad be struggling defensively and without a defensive mistake by Skrtel, probably would have lost.

There was 5 matches played today and brilliantly all ended in a draw, this leads me to try and investigate the last time this happened, but I get drawn to the Katherine Jenkins story. What!!!! I hear you bellow, well she is the blonde opera singer that has denied sleeping with Goldenballs Beckham, then told us all the only times she has met him, to me this sounds like strong guilt, and if it true then guilt is what she should feel, oh and him it does take 2 to Tango.

I would like to add though that I am in no way supporting the death threats sent to Katherine that is a disgusting, abhorrent act and all involved should be ashamed, but they won’t be.

Monday

Bank holiday YESSSSSSSSS!!! Damn I am actually working : ( so not happy I check the rabbits this morning, and I shout at them as they have smashed their food bowl by throwing it down the stairs (of their hutch).

So I need to check the football programme for today so I can keep an eye of a few teams, but to my amazement only Conference playing so a little bit more grumpy.

Well i’m off to work waiting with anticipation of the Hyde Southport match YAWN YAWN YAWN ZZZZZzzzZZzZzzZzZZZzzzZZ.

I absolutely hate Bank holidays, what an awful shift of stupid people thinking they know better and when you correct them they act as if you has killed their nearest and dearest…………..oh well Hyde got A Hyding at home to Southport.

It was away wins galore today, only Grimsby and Macclesfield won at home, with Nuneaton gaining the biggest away win of the day against Alfreton.

Tomorrow see’s a myriad of football with Champions League matches being played along with the Capital One Cup…or COC. There is also Europa League ties and the Scottish communities league cup, with RossCounty taking on Raith Rovers.

I sit here in anticipation, as I am moving from Swansea to Bedfordin a few days roughly 10 days, and I aim to as a 1 off write a blog about Beach soccer in place of my Friday supplement, but that has yet to be decided.

Modric has finally signed for Real Madrid, well he was never gonna sign for Fake Madrid was he. I’m off to bed night night.

Tuesday.

 

I have been awoken by a car pulling up outside and blowing its horn 7.20am seriously, so I am in a grouchy mood, which seems to be withering with every intake of tea o take from my extra large starbucks mug. I want to remember what I have previously written about, and my predictions for the premier league catch my eye.

Placing Chelsea 5th oops a blooper there, but after 3 matches still too early to predict what the rest of the season has to offer. AllChelsea fans I know are already planning title parties and I asked 2 fans what they thinkChelsea will do this was their genuine answer.

Fan1- Premier League, Champions League

Fan2- All 4

I asked if they were both genuine and they both said yh winning Champions league will be easy……….. I retorted it’s that easy to win no-one has yet to retain the title.

They both started shouting at me claiming I was Jealous of their ongoing success, I just said yeah I enjoyed finishing above Chelsea. That actually shut them up.

So I look at the COC fixtures and I decide that I will predict 1 of the scores. So just to annoy Tim I choose the Coventry and Birmingham match. Coventry 1-3 Birmingham in 90 minutes.

Talking of Coventry I literally just found out that they sacked their manager Andy Thorn….WHO?

Well shockingly he was an FA cup winner with the Crazy gang in 1988 and well that’s really the only interesting thing about him. Richard Shaw and Lee Carsley take temporary charge, so I think my prediction should be CCFC 0-4 BCFC.

The Scottish cup draw took place yesterday, and Rangers Newco were drawn against a team called Forres Mechanics, who in turn are the current highland league champions.

English side Berwick Rangers will face a home tie againstWickAcademy, that is one hell of a journey for the Wickermen???.

Wedenesday.

I came home last night to sounds of my G/F saying “don’t go on the computer I need it its important” I reply with a whimpering nod but that soon dissipates as I tuck into a moussaka from M and S.

also get this text from Tim saying New Co won, I look with confusion as I didn’t realise they were playing, but re-read the message, and realise Tim wrote New.Co., which in our term stands forNewportCountyand yeah they did indeed win 2-0 at home to Hereford,

So getting on to Scottish football, Rangers NEWCO. Seem to be rubbing off the lower league clubs with Stenhousemuir, Queen of the South and Raith Rovers all beating SPL opposition.

Financially stricken Billionaires Malaga are into the group stages of the Champions League along with Braga and the brilliantly named BATE Borisov, that’s sounds like a name of a real person to me “ah hello can I speak to a Master Bate Borisov”, sorry so immature, but it get me thinking about clubs named after people and there are plenty in the America’s with Colo Colo being my favourite.

So this morning I struggle to get out of bed, now I don’t mean I physically struggled I mean I just could not be bothered. So I walk downstairs I for no apparent reason I start singing 3 lions on a shirt fairly loudly too.

Stuttgart are through to the Groups stages of the Europa league but my main interest is now on the COC.

Burton Albion with the scalp of the evening winning atLeicester4-2 and in 90 minutes, there were still other shocks,Carlisle beat Ipswich and Coventry beat Brumingham City 3-2AET. So my prediction was totally way off.

Even Fulham succumbed to a lower league side in Wednesday, and Swindon did what many Premier league teams struggle to do and that’s win at Britannia but it was after 120 minutes.Swansea kept up their good form and beat Barnsley so the Jack Army are still marching.

 

Both Bolton and Blackburn were also defeated, but they will use the excuse that promotion their only priority. I have too look at tonight’s fixtures and the usual European encounters are topping the bill, but I am actually intrigued with the Everton V Orient COC match, could there be another shock. YES!!! I am predicting Orient win 2-1AET.

 Thursday.

Once again my G/f barred me from the computer, now claiming I get to use it in the morning, as to which I am doing now. I once again got the prediction wrong as Everton romped to a 5-0 win, I think romp is probably not the word to use it reminds me of hip gyrating, and I cannot imagine Felliani hip gyrating around the pitch.

 

Talking of 5-0 losses Wembley FC sponsored by Budweiser were destroyed last night by Uxbridge, in an FA Cup replay, FA Cup also sponsored by Budweiser. Wembley FC road to well erm Wembley over before it began.

 

Celtic are celebrating in reaching the Champions league group stages, but 1 thing that annoys me is Man City have a higher co-efficiency then Juventus, despite this only their 3rd European venture in a row. Their  co-efficiency is also higher the Spurs and though I would expect that this season last season I would never have given them much of a co-efficiency but when Spurs lost to Real Madrid in QF champions league, and Man City also lost in Europa League somehow that’s when Man City got the higher score.

Queens Park provided another shock in the Scottish league cup by beating Dundee and Rangers NEWCO play tonight againstFalkirk. Lets hope its not another embarrassing result for the 2 month old 50 time league champions.

Tonight football is dominated by Europa League play off matches with British interest in Pool, Hearts, Geordieland and Motherwell. We will see at least 1 winner from them as Pool take on Hearts, in a battle of Britain match ( I thought that involved planes and Germans).

 

In the COC Northampton are at home to Wolves, and I did the thing in my head of Northampton will win, COBBLERS.

On my way into work now so I had better get off this damn thing, but I am now counting down the days I have left 3 working days before I leave.

Friday.

I wake up with a huge thumb on my forehead (some say five head) but once again she banned me from the computer last night, I tried to explain that I needed to keep an eye out for results and funny stories for my blog.

 

So Liverpool and Geordieland United qualify for the group stages of the Europa League with both Hearts and Motherwell being knocked by pool and Levante respectively.

 

Wolves beatNorthampton3-1 in the COC and Rangers NEWCO beat Falkirk3-0 in the Scottish league cup,Falkirk manager claiming it an embarrassment, to lose so convincingly to a club only 2 months old.

I am looking at today’s fixtures and I see that Port Talbot at home to Newtown, and this is wear Port Talbot Town will look to kick start their season off after suffering from 2 defeats, other Welsh teams also take to the field tonight with TNS hosting Prestatyn.

 

The Champions league draw took place yesterday with Man City being put in a group of death, and Arsenal,Chelsea and Man Utd seem to have an easier draw and should not find themselves outside the top 2.

Celtic have defied me by reaching the group stages so to help their fans I predict they will finish 4th in this group, they have Barcelona, Benfica and Spartak Moscow, but i’m sure Parkhead will see at least 2 glorious nights, Barcelona will probably just trample them.

Well that’s me this week and for the next few weeks, as during my move I have no access to internet and or a computer. I will post on here when my next blog will be but I am thinking at least 1 month will allow me to come up with fresh material ha ha ha ha

And finally……………… Before I go the 3  league teams with all 5 vowels are Rotherham United, Hartlepool United and Torquay United.

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